Wikipedia says “Honesty refers to a facet of moral character and connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, straightforwardness, including straightforwardness of conduct, along with the absence of lying, cheating, theft, etc.” I think the most important part of this excerpt is “absence of lying, cheating, theft, etc.” Now that we all have the definition of the word, let’s talk about it. We hear that word a lot, don’t we? But has it become lost in translation? Do we just say it because it sounds good? Do we expect it because it’s a universal standard?
The bottom line is that no one likes to be lied to, and so of course we expect people all around us to be honest. We may hold that standard to a higher level for our family, kids and close friends. But no one is excused from it. So why would you not ask for honesty from yourself?
“What no one knows won’t hurt them” … how many times have heard (or even said) that popular catch phrase? The truth is (ha, see what I did there?) that someone will be hurt … because someone will know … and that someone … is you. You will know the ultimate truth you are withholding, and you will ultimately pay the price for hiding that. Why are we okay with that?!
If you are expecting everyone around you to be honest with you, you need to do that as well. Stop lying to yourself! I can remember many times throughout my life, being told or hearing someone say “Lead by example”. Let’s start there, friend. Because as old as this advice may be, it still holds truth in it. We’re all about truth today! So if you are expecting your spouse or kids to be honest with you, of course you have to be honest with them as well. However, in order for any of this to happen, you have to be honest with YOURSELF first and foremost.
REFLECT ~ I want you to reflect on this. This will vary from person to person, but I want you to think about a lie or an exaggeration in your life RIGHT NOW that you are accepting in place of the truth for YOURSELF. Dig deep if you have to, because I know we all have this. Write it down or say it out loud. Email it to me if you need to.
RESOLVE ~ Now that we have it out there, resolve it! Depending on the situation, it may take a few steps of action to do this. But RIGHT NOW, I want you to take some kind of action to resolve this. If you don’t know how, reach out and maybe we can brainstorm together!
RELEASE ~ Finally, release that untruth … release it from your soul forever. You have reflected on it, you have acknowledged it some way, and you have resolved it. Now it no longer belongs to you. Release it and move on.
Bon Temps Body & Soul 